On Assignment

Hello all:

My assignment for tonight is to investigate my feelings on HOLIDAYS.

What a scary word. When I was a child it was great. No school, no homework, all the TV I wanted - what could ever be wrong with that? It wouldn't take long for the boredom to set in and thoughts about how long before it was time to go back to the regular world. As I grew older, holidays were even less exciting.

Then came adulthood - and reality. Holidays are hyped up to be a reason to get together with family and "bond". Who are they kidding?????? One person does the majority of the work to make one meal that is inhaled in a matter of moments with a group of people that you don't spend a whole lot of time with during the year. This is a "Kodak Moment". Picture the cook looking down at the table that has been devoured by a grazing herd of bickering relatives. The remains of the meal are waiting to be put away, the dishes to be washed and order restored. Everyone has scattered to separate parts of the house in little groups of who they are comfortable with. Aunt Jane avoids Uncle Ross; cousin Petey tortures little Rosie; Grandma asks whichever uncomfortable kid she's able to catch as they run past, "So, how's school?" What fun this bonding thing is! Why don't we bond more during the year??

"CLICK"

Maybe you should take that little camera into the kitchen with the cook who has a stunned look on his/her face; wondering how all that preparation could be for a meal that is over so quickly. Go down the hall and take a picture of little Mandy as she sits in the corner of a dark room, miserable because she wants to go home and play rather than be with cousin Candy who looks down her nose at Mandy as if she were a bug.

I've seen lots of different families as they practice this form of politics - Holiday Politics. Some handle it better than others. Some actually look forward to the holiday gathering and don't go away armed with lots of fodder for the next disfunctional family comedy TV series. Others don't fare as well.

Holidays are what you make them. Set your expectations of others too high and you will disappointed. If you expect everyone to get along and like each other because it's a holiday - you will undoubtably find out that folks who don't feel comfortable with each other during the year - guess what? Forcing them together on a holiday will not make them like each other any better. Probably just the opposite.

Maybe this blog should have had a warning attached.

I am thankful for MANY people and things. I am thankful everyday and don't need a holiday to make me so. I have set my expections way too high over the years and when others did not meet those expectations, I was disappointed. I hope that part of my life is over. I expect this holdiay and every other holiday to be another day that we make into whatever suits us.

For those of you worried about dear old Mom being alone on a holiday - don't be. First of all I will be spending some time with my friend, Ruth. She wants to fix a meal so I'm helping her make her Thanksgiving what she wants it to be. As for me, I'm alone every day. It doesn't change just because it's a holiday. You don't become more alone or less alone. It just is. My plans for Christmas includes a few dogs and cats, house sitting for two friends and a day of solitude. Chosen solitude. Planned solitude. Nothing bad. Nothing to fret about or call out the National Guard. I will be OK. What a concept!