Sunday, December 30, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

I've been avoiding this assignment. Fact is - I don't want to do it. For a number of years my resolution has been to not make resolutions. But thanks to a doctor who makes me do things I don't want to do - here goes.

#1 - No unrealistic resolutions

#2 - I will do my best to care about losing weight and IF it happens then I will do my best to lose some weight.

#3 - This one is easy. It's time to get a job.

#4 - I will continue my blog even if I stop seeing my doctor.

#5 - I will have yard sales to get rid of the STUFF in my house and will dejunk as much as possible.

OK, there is your five resolutions for 2008. Phooey!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

$50 Ham Sandwich

As promised, here is the story of the $50 ham sandwich.

When I went to OK in November, my daughter and her husband had Thanksgiving Dinner early since I was there and they would be moving around Thanksgiving. The meat was a Spiral-Cut Ham and was delicious. I ate ham sandwiches several days and was a happy camper.

Since then I've been wanting a ham sandwich. Turns out I want the same spiral-cut ham cause nothing else satisfied. Now when you live by yourself, it's hard to go buy one of these hams. Every time I would stop by, they would swear they really do carry a 1/4 ham. They just never seem to have one available. So - just before Christmas I decided I was getting a spiral-cut ham no matter the size. This was my Christmas gift to myself.

I go to the store on Christmas Eve day with all the 4 million people who decided they needed a ham too. The store mounts this huge search for that 1/4 ham they really believe exists and come back with the smallest ham they have. Price tag? Just over $50. As I said, I was determined to leave with a ham so I bought it. I ate my wonderful ham sandwich that night - after I took a picture of my $50 ham sandwich. YUMMY!

So,

- Bread? $2
- Mayo? $2
- Pickles? $3
- Ham? $50

My Ham sandwich experience? Priceless!!!!

The picture of the ham sandwich? Oops! Ate it before I took the picture. Use your imagination.

Need a Laugh?

OK, I love to watch comedians. Most of the time you have to put up with some bad language and some inappropriate humor so I tend to go for the ones that aren't so bad. One of my favorite guys uses some bad language and stuff but overall he isn't too bad. He has a character named Peanut who is one of my favorites. Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist with dummies who are loved by lots of folks. Besides Peanut I think the most famous are Walter and Jose Jalapeno (on a stick). I saw him in person once and have seen him on TV a lot. My son let me borrow two of his DVD's with Jeff Dunham. On Christmas day I watch both DVD's. On one of them he does a stand up routine as himself with any dummies. He did a part about chihuahuas take had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. (When it first started I was taking a swallow of soda (lemon-lime) and I spewed soda through my nose! Later when I was telling my friend about it I called the soda Coke and said I laughed so hard I snorted Coke. That mistake was almost as funny as the story.) Anyway, if you like a laugh - my son says he got the DVD's at Wal-Mart - this is the one I recommend. The one with the chihuahua routine was on the one called spark of insanity or something like that.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas in NC

I was all set to be alone and enjoy the solitude of ignoring Christmas day. Then I was invited to enjoy my grandson's first Christmas morning. I was so sure that I was going to toughen up and not NEED to be with family on holidays. You know, part of the "fix the looney tune" campaign. (That comment is going to get me in sooo much trouble with my therapist.) Well, I guess that part of the campaign will have to wait. My morning of being with my son and daughter-in-law and grandson was wonderful. I was with family ON the holiday. Not before, not after, actually ON THE HOLIDAY. Just being with them and feeling loved and a part of something was awesome. I may have to get used to being alone but for now my need was filled very well.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Magic, anyone?

So, do YOU believe in magic? I don't mean illusion and the sleight of hands that you will find in Vegas. REAL magic.

Does it exist? Can someone have the power to conjure something in midair? Can someone use a power others don't have and manipulate things around us to be something different?

I do believe in magic. The magic of a small child's joy. The magic of love. The magic of kindness. The magic of Christmas. Especially the maqgic of Christ. As for the spells and other such stuff? Oh well, anything is possible. For me, I love to read romance, fantasy, mystery and so forth. There's lots of magic in a book. Fact or Fiction? Not my call. I'll stick with the magic I know.

To all the magic in my life - the adult children and their spouses, the grandchildren and my friends and other family members. Enjoy the magic of Christ as we celebrate his birth. Merry Christmas from this old lady.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

My Assignment today

Examine my feelings on my weight.

We could be here a while. Make sure you have food and water nearby.

When I was young and all the way to my early 20's, my weight problem was that I was too skinny. I ate diets to help gain weight and I was hiding those scrawny legs and arms constantly. SIGH! What a problem to have.

My being overweight problems started after pregnancy. It became harder and harder to lose weight after each baby - but - this was also the time that I was going through some whoppers of personal problems and as I have found depression plus me equals weight gain. I don't eat right when I'm depressed. So was it the change in hormones, the depression or all of the above? Who knows and who cares?

One thing I have also determined through years of reflection and doctor dollars - I am at a point that I would like for someone to like me whether I'm fat or not. After the divorce and a stress diet I lost the weight and "attracted" Robbie. I guess I've determined that if I lose weight someone wants me and if I don't I'm not wanted. Screwy, maybe. Also sounds like it's true.

Anyway, my feelings now? I don't like my body fat, but I do like me. If someone else doesn't see me without the body fat? Guess what? I don't see them either. Very freeing, actually.

So the whole thing in a nutshell? What weight problem?

(Might not be what the doctor wanted, but she did ask.)

Geodude-David is my hero

At least for today. I've been concerned because when I surf on the "next Blog" bar in my blogs I was finding stuff that I found objectionable for me and if someone with kids came to my blog and hit next blog and saw some of the stuff I was seeing - CRINGE! I had searched all over the blogger.com site and hadn't been able to find out how to stop it. I finally clicked on Help Group or something like that and joined just so I could ask the question. One person answered and he directed me to a site that was VERY helpful. I hope it's ok to post it here cause it had a lot more stuff that I thought was good. http://bloggerstatusforreal.blogspot.com/2007/08/blocking-navbar-next-blog-link.html The downside is that I haven't figured out how to get back to the dashboard without going all the way back to the beginning BUT the other problem is fixed and Geodude-David gets the credit. Thanks Dude.

PS: Having read some of his page, this problem is one that has existed for a while and doesn't seem to be dealt with properly (my opinion). I'm not familiar with other blogging sites so I don't know if this is just part of blogging or just this site.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Christmas for me.

I was out in the western part of the US last week to celebrate Christmas. I was able to visit with most of my kids, kids-in-law and grandchildren and for me this was my Christmas celebration. For me it's all about family so a day on a calendar doesn't mean a whole lot.

As I was growing up I got that feeling from Christmas even though it was normally just the four of us. Some years we would celebrate with Dad's family but I don't ever remember celebrating with Mom's family. It's weird because my brother didn't have the same warm fuzzy feeling about our years growing up.

The main thing that I have learned about holidays, celebrations and families came when I was an adult and the most important thing I learned too late. When I married my second husband, the holidays became very stressful and not as much fun because of those nasty expectations I've come to dislike. It was expected that we get up early and go over to his mother's house with no regards to the kids getting a chance to enjoy "Santa" or for the fact that I had parents also. Any time spent away from the official celebration was considered a disappointment and heaven knows everything I did was disappointing. We would try to arrange a celebration at our house at a different time and that always backfired. I would be punished for months because of stuff like that (by his mother, not him. He was frustrated too.) We were the only ones with kids at that time. Later when other kids came along things changed a little but by then my kids were older and didn't get the same feelings on Christmas morning. The holidays were monopolized by that side of the family while we would defy the opinions and rush to my parents for an hour and then rush back. That's the lesson I learned. By the time I realized how little time I spent with my mother on a holiday she loved, it was too late. She had already died. I do not blame his mother or the family because - I allowed it. I should have stated that we were going to spend x amount of time at home with our little family, x amount of time with my parents and x amount of time with his family and if his mother didn't like it then we would suffer the consequences. The funny thing is that I spent years trying to get her to approve of me, to like me and she never did. So why was it so important to try? She wasn't going to be happy with me anyway. We should have set the rules and stuck by them.

All this rambling for this point. I go out west to see my kids in the "off" times. I try not to go on Christmas because I know my kids have in laws to see for the holidays. I've set an example to my kids by not making it a priority to be where I wanted to be on a holiday. A bad example. It's a shame. If nothing else, I hope they learn from my mistake and take control of how they want to spend their special times. Of where they want to be and when they want to be there. Maybe they will be better examples for their kids.

So I stand back and let others have the holidays that I no longer think are special. I know that sounds sad but you know what? I don't think so. I saw my kids and their families and I had a great time. I no longer let a date dictate to me what I should be doing and where I should be. I think that's pretty cool. We'll see if the therapist thinks so.

I debated on whether to be this open and frank about a topic that could be considered touchy but since only one of my children seems to ever read this maybe I'll be safe. If not, oh well, shoot me. My doc thinks this is helping me and that's why I'm doing it.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Finding the Alpha Dog

A few years ago I was lucky enough to puppy sit my daughter's chihuahua (Allie) for 6 months. I thought that was reward enough but child #4-daughter#3 and husband of child#4-daughter#3 told me that I would get the first puppy. Since I fell in love with Allie and then with her husband, Oscar, the thought of their puppy was real exciting. Still not necessary but who am I to turn away lots of love?

This last trip to Utah had two purposes - to see all three daughters, two sons-in-law, four grandchildren, three chihuahuas, a friend and her family AND to bring home my new puppy! Willow is an active 3 pound whirlwind. As I type, she is playing on my back and the back of my chair. I'm not sure what is so fascinating but then again I'm not 9 weeks old or a dog.

This is the sweet little family before I ripped the baby away. (SIGH) Oscar, Willow and Allie don't always pose so nicely.

The part that is so funny is that I brought Willow home to a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. Coco still isn't sure about the little thing that is nipping at her ankles. Sedate and big versus energy and tiny. This should be interesting. Coco is only 67 pounds heavier yet I think that Willow is in charge for now. When Coco gets tired of the pup she pushes her off with her huge paw. So far she's been gentle.

Now we just have to set who is Alpha in this house. Coco knows it's me, I know it's me, but Willow thinks she's in charge. If you look at that tiny face you can see this is going to be a challenge.

My "coincidence"

I wanted to write all about my trip but instead I'm going to whine. On Nov 13th I went to the doctor to review my medications. I was well when I went in. I got a flu shot while I was there.

The next morning I woke up sick. Achy, sinus pain, coughing, sneezing - the whole nine yards. Since I had gotten the flu shot the day before I figured it was a reaction to the shot and called to see if I needed to do anything special or treat it just like a regular cold. I was informed that you can't get sick from the flu shot. It's a dead virus. It was just a "coincidence." After a week of misery, my "coincidence" got infected in my sinuses. Calling the doctor got me the same story of "can't get sick from . . . it's a coincidence" and a prescription for an antibiotic for the sinus infection. The meds made my sinuses feel better but the original coincidence was going strong. I flew in two airplanes to get to the west. I stayed sick while in Utah and started getting worse the day before leaving to come home. Two more planes and LOTS of pain in my ears and sinuses.

I got home from the airport and crashed - sleeping from 10 am until 3 pm - back in bed by 5 pm and up again at 8:30 am. MISERY. I called the doctors office to tell them I was going to be seen by the doctor. So I see the doc at 10:30 to be told that my ears are badly infected, sinuses infected and so forth. When I told her that I had been sick since the day after seeing her on the 13th and therefore had been sick a month, she acted as if she didn't believe me. She thinks this one is a different illness. DON'T YOU HAVE TO GET WELL BEFORE YOU GET SICK AGAIN?

More expensive medicine for two weeks this time. whinewhinewhinewhinewhine

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Devotional times 2

I had a great opportunity this weekend. Not only did I go to the church to watch the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional tonight, I attended a devotional held for the Raleigh NC temple workers in Apex last night. The spirit was strong in both events.

For me, the Christmas message was my main celebration of Christmas. I'll still visit kids, go caroling and so forth but I planned this to be my main celebration. The messages were perfect for me and the music made my spirit soar. I can't think of a better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Last night's message was different but no less special. The temple presidency had an hour long mixer so workers from all the different shifts would be able to mingle, eat and enjoy each other's company. Then we went into the chapel where there were talks about the blessings of the temple and we expressed our gratitude to have a temple so close to us.

I am so grateful to have been introduced to the church so that I could gain my testimony of the Gospel. The influences of so many good people has helped me to grow as a person and I am happy to proclaim; I KNOW the church is true and is led by prophets in this modern day. I can not imagine my Heavenly Father establishing the organization of His church through His Son's ministry and then letting us fall by the wayside. He has provided a way for us to return to Him and is guiding our leaders today.